From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
His hands were made for my vagina.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Boobs speak an international language.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
