Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Randomize
