90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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