paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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