you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize