Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
