I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize