even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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