Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
