I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Randomize
