Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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