Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
porn star boner night. come get it.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
