Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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