Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Randomize
