She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
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