Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
