the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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