there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
