Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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