Quick, to the slutcave!
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
