Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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