Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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