But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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