Bisexual people are plain selfish.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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