It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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