I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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