Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
