Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize