Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
