wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
