I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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