you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
