Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
