We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Randomize
