butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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