Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
