Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
i think my cat just said my name.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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