I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Randomize
