Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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