part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Randomize
