My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize