you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
