i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
