she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Randomize
