There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
