Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
