Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
