i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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