goodnight i made you a song goodbye
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
