Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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