also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
