my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
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