Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
