redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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