I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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