what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
